Me Singing Poker Face Glee Version

I really love this song. The first time I saw this rendition on Glee I was so moved to sing my own version of it. Actually I heard this once in a radio station but its was another version but still I liked the way they varied the song. My voice is a bit crack in this version of mine and the microphone of my laptop is no good at all.

In my own interpretation, I want to give a poker face to everyone who hated me and hurt me a lot in the past. My friends, my loved ones and the persons I once cherished who caused me the biggest pain in my life. I want to be strong so I don't want them seeing me again weeping. I want to give them a poker face never revealing how I really feel inside. No more pain from my face, no more sadness and perhaps no more happiness.

I wish someday, I will be able to remove this poker face masked and be myself again to someone who could love me. Someone whom I could love as well and be with me forever. For now, I will wear this poker face. For now, I wont reveal the real me not even to those who already knew me.

Hurting someone is a double edge sword. Though you are the one causing the pain, it will hurt you even more inside. It's not only guilt that you felt specially if the person you hurt is the person you hold so dearly.Sorry isn't enough, but sorry is the only word that we could utter when we are sincere in our mistakes. No more explanations since the more words we speak, the more confusing it gets.

This song is a version done by Gabe Bondoc, a youtube artist. This song is a mirror of what I feel right now. Of course, I don't want a standing ovation or a bow, all I need is forgiveness and hoping that someday everything will be okay. That someday I will never ever hurt someone again so that they will not close the curtain and leave me forever.

More than you know

Your smile, oh it makes me think for a while

You're like  an angel, falling from the sky

Your eyes, talks to me as if saying

I am your most special one

(Refrain:)

But I, never knew how much I loved you

I just couldn't tell how much I feel

And you wanted me to love you

More than I could give

But did you know, your more than special in my heart

Just being with you makes me

Loose myself!

I love you, more than you know.

It was at the time of my confusion

You came across and saved me

You were you so persistent while

I was so hesitant to love again

You want to keep me forever, but I said no

Let us cherish today coz we don't know

What lies ahead, don't be afraid

I love more than you think I could

(Refrain)

Stop listening from opinions

Just listen to your heart

And you'll know, I love you

More than you know

It's been a while since my last post, but here I am again posting my song to someone. I hope you will read this and see how sincere I was.

Nostalgic, my colleague was playing songs from the original sound track of this Disney movie Hercules. I kept on saying "I know the songs back when I was younger and I could even sing with it back then.". I really love this movie since it portrayed a story of being a hero from being zero. I too am a zero and am hoping that someday, though not here and not at the moment, be a somebody that everybody would be proud of.

Disney musics are indeed very creative as this movie is another evidence of their non-dying musicals. The songs added a significant effect to the mood of the movie since its music range from being joyful to being extravagant. The music is never of no relevance and the songs do complement the messages that the writer would like to convey the audience. There was never a boring sound in this movie and I can say Disney is indeed a trademark of grandiose music and a magnificent musicality.

The story line of the movie involves the fall of Hercules as was turned into a human when he was just a baby. He lost his immortality and the claim of the throne, but it is a start of an even greater honor which would lead him to a more challenging adventures. Meeting new friends along the way, a city where he will be praised for his heroic acts and a lovely damsel in distress that would soon become his love affair. The transition of being a zero to a hero is very typical but Disney has indeed made it very interesting to eyes of the viewers that even adults could enjoy and get a lesson with.

The animation sequence itself is splendid and is very well-done. Color combination are very well coordinated and every color compliments the attitude of the character.

Character creation is very interesting, though each character is a deviation of the original since the movie itself is another version of the real Hercules story. Maybe the reason for this is to make appeal to the child auditions and to portray happy endings since it is a Disney movie.

This movie is really a fun-filled movie and to those who haven't watch this yet, bring out the child in you and view this awesome film.

Silent is a must.

I was full of words to express to my friends back then. The world seems not to end when I am with them. I tell them everything I feel without even setting limits. I am very transparent, I mean almost, since they know almost all of my sentiments. But now, everything seem so settle in a quiescence. I turn myself into the embrace of silent and could never come back to the time where I was restless and hyper.

The nostalgia is still chilling me whenever I hear my friends laugh. I miss the times where I could still relate to them and could even go on a day just giggling. Its as if I don't know them at all. They are close yet my hands are reaching to a distant somebody that whenever I try to reach, they all keep moving away. I turn myself into a silent, and it is a must. Since I realized they hate me being a loud mouth person. They hate me for being me. That is why I slowly removed myself to the social interactions that is around me. As much as possible,I avoid gaining new friends.

Another reason for this unending silence that I keep myself as a promise is the betrayal of a once good friend. I anticipated the time that my friends would just go out without me. I may be over acting for thinking such pathetic little misery, but I can't deny how I feel. I ask them why? I was only given a stare of blank face. A face who is against my morals which I can no longer comprehend. I moved away and muted my heart. I became silent.

The tragedy did not occurred once. It has been done not once, but a number which I can no longer count with either both my fingers and my toes. I don't know if it was my fault or was it theirs.  The only thing that keeps me going right now is the instinct to live.

Silent, they asked me why I am silent. Silent as if I did not exist. I made a big wall against them. I did not lost only one, I lost everything. Its my fault. I just need to grow up that is why I kept myself into silent.

Paklay: Goat's Guts

This my friend is called a Goat's guts. Actually, its just a term to make "Paklay" sounds enticing. It is a one of the favorite Filipino recipe which involves cooking the internal organs of the Capra aegagrus hircus commonly known as the goat.


Guts? Sounds very yucky right? Just imagine the internals entering you mouth and a odorous smells welcomes your nose while devouring the unimaginable. Well, it is not really like that. Actually it taste really good. It is indeed the internals you are eating but minus the odor if it is cooked well.  Just don't be deceived by the idea of eating a disgusting guts, then you would surely taste an exotic cuisine with fine taste.  A mixture of a sour feeling and bitter taste makes it very appealing to the taste buds.


This Paklay "Goat Guts", is actually cooked by my personal favorite infamous chef that I usually bully, my brother. I always scold him for being a reckless cook, but I do commend him for a job well done in cooking this tough food. He made it find that you could no longer care whether it is an internal of a goat. The taste is just perfect. Even the mixtures of the ingredients, you could say it is a fine cuisine. Just don't

The Prom

Want you say my name,

And tell me that you love me

Even for a game,

I want to know that you are mine.


Hold me in your arms

Feeling the breeze says

Teasing me to pray

That love will find a way.


Chorus:


The moon seems smiling

It’s been a happy day

The song seems unchanging

To a beat that I will wait

I want to ask for a dance

Even if it’s a last song

On the night of the night

I want to take you to the sky


Staring at the corner

Glimpsing at your smile

I can never wait until forever

But to someone else you belonged

The nights seems to end

Waiting for that one last song

It’s been now or too long

I wish my luck will not get wrong

[Chorus:]



This song is dedicated for someone whom I never got a chance to dance with in my high school days. I was given two chances but I wasted that opportunity. My fears strike me first now I will never be able to return the past. I wished on that day that even if in my dreams I would dance her for the last time, sad to say the night ended without me even asking her and a life time of regret will remain in my heart.


This song is not yet finished, it is still on the process of series of change in order for it to be close to perfection. I want to make it into an acoustic version but I also want it played with the piano. I hope I will finish it and I hope she will read this and  will say something about this.

Let one live!

A life which is barely breathing
Wandering in the darkest abyss
With only a glimpse of hope that remains
And when will it fade? It is uncertain.

For every minute of that life
Is extended by unnatural means
To live or to let go, a decision
A broken heart, is a question.

Where every hand that touches
Involves a scythe to raise
When everything will only lead to death
Will one prolong it or let it be?

What's good for it for a person?
When at his mortal end, is coming near
Should hope be grasp and to suffer?
Or a life to embrace, in hands of the Creator?

This is my poem submitted to Mr. Tomacruz, My philosophy teacher when I was still in my college years, 4th year. This poem is themed "Euthanasia"

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Leave Your Sleep (2CD)

Waiting is frustrating.

I am tired of waiting for something which is very far to happen. It is so frustrating hoping for something which is so unsure and yet so promising. Almost everyone falls into this kind of realizations and everyone had experience such dilemma.

There was a point in my life when I hoped so much for that thing to happen. I waited and waited until the days which was said to be the reward of the wait, but still it end up expecting nothing. Empty promises made me very pessimistic as to never hope for something and wait for it to realize. The frustrations I felt whenever the days are arriving and another day to re-promise the same old thing made me very weak. Why is it a thing you needed most will never be yours even though you did everything you could in order to achieved it? I guess not everyone is blessed, only a few are chosen not to wait and just receive whatever they need no matter how luxurious it is or how simple it maybe.

Waiting is a test of patience but if at the end of that constant waiting you find yourself empty, it will be so frustrating to even hope again for it to happen. Even waiting for a person to come to your life is frustrating, specially if you don't know who and what that person is. How will he/she come in once life or if is he/she is the one.

Life is always a series of waiting and no matter what will happen we will always wait. It maybe frustrating that sometimes the ones a person is waiting will never come and is never meant to happen but we must still find ways for us to hope though it hurts to get hurt all over again. Just like what I did, though I became a slave of my this frustrations at first due to the cruelty of a wait, I managed myself to still stand and fight and to make more hopes and wait for it to happen until I breathe my last breath.
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The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)

The mystery of the Stolen Art

A few months ago, a strange thing happened in my room. Actually it is a series of a very unfortunate events that really shocked me in my knees. The first incident is the mystery of the lost first drawing. First because I lost two drawing. I just posted it in the wall of my room and now it is mysteriously missing.

????

The first drawing was a portrait sketch by me in anime style, since I like anime so much, named Arashi and Rein. It is a sketch of Arashi (male character) and Rein (female character) in intimate position. I really made it very dramatic and I can say it is one of my best art so far. To give you the clear view here is the scanned version the drawing. Good thing I was able to make a digital copy of it, if not I would not be seeing it again. So here it is.


The next item in the crime scene was entitled Keronee. I really liked that drawing though I was not able to fix the eyes and I did that in a matter of minutes out of boredom and during that time my insomnia. It is also a large size sketch and I also liked it because my friend liked it. So to give the full details of the mystery item, here is the digital copy of that picture.



Even Until now I am hoping that I would see my drawing. I am also hoping to see it in famous walls someday (dream on Paul!hahahahah). I reallycherish all my works and I now I don't really care where it is, the mystery drawing, what is important to is that I could still glimpsed at it one more time knowing that it is in good hands.


P.S.: After that incident I lost my laptop and caught the culprit. I suspect that the same criminal is responsible for the theft but I was not able to locate my drawings only my laptop.

Unappreciated work.

I am very irritated by the grade I received from this work of ours. It is "OURS" because it was a project along with my partner Pipo. We worked so hard with this project and due to time constraints we were not able to pass it on time. They said the reason why we received that grade is for the late reason but I asked our teacher regarding late submission and he said nothing will be deducted he'll give a grade accordingly. He should have said that deductions and a ceiling grade limit would be given to us so that I wont be doing any sentiments.

Anyway, this work of ours is made using a collaboration of different mediums namely; Blender, Adobe After Effects Cs4, Adobe Premiere, Adobe Audition and Audacity. I hope you will like this video. I did the compiling, Blender stuff and the music while pipo was in charge withe the After Effects portion. Its not the best but I am pleased with what we have accomplished.

Dancing Rusty

I have been doing a lot of post regarding this work of mine and I am still writing about it. Anyway, this is my first 3d animation done in blender. I called it the Dancing Rusty. It's not yet very polished yet since I did it for 2 weeks only but I really could say I have done my best out of it. Come to think of it, my laptop was not really capable but I manage to pull it through.

Rusty is one of my favorite dog who left this dimension and is now with God, if dogs has souls. I heard that pets go to heaven and hope he really does because I really missed that dog of mine. He is very gentle and very playful and he actually comforts me when I am lonely. When he died, I was not there so I was kind of sad about hearing his death.

In honor of my favorite dog, I made a model out of him and made him dance. The song is a Japanese song by Younha titled "Houki Boshi" or as I searched it "Abandoned Star" in English translation. It is done using blender and it is my first project to be done on that media. I wish you like it and please do leave a comment. I know it needs a lot of improvements but I will definitely do my best next time.

Doing Nothing after Doing A lot of work

I find it quite very relieving after finishing as task done for almost eight hours. It is exhausting and sometimes very frustrating specially if at the peak of what ever you are doing, you suddenly end up messing the last few things. After fixing the mess that is done and after all that long hard work, ironically I crave for something to do just to buy time since I end up finishing my task on a rather fast pace.

Currently I am on a training for a SEO company and is doing nothing but searching sites. A quota of hundred sites seems very impossible to meet on an eight hour working hours. As the training progress, I found ways to make my work easier and searched sites as fast as I could in order to have a time for relaxation. Well, its tiring to work but its more infuriating to wait for the time to pass with nothing to do. So here I am doing starting a blog just to buy time and entertain myself so I will not get bored waiting for the time.

I am hoping I would be doing just fine after this training and if I am to pursue this career, then I wish I would still find a time for me to do nothing and play around with my blog. I wish I would be bored again to open my, I don't know the count anymore of this, blog just to entertain myself. I hate boring jobs but it seems it is the only opportunity I can grab for now. Maybe I'll get use to doing a lot of work and then if done early will do nothing but wait for the time to pass by. :D