Silent is a must.

I was full of words to express to my friends back then. The world seems not to end when I am with them. I tell them everything I feel without even setting limits. I am very transparent, I mean almost, since they know almost all of my sentiments. But now, everything seem so settle in a quiescence. I turn myself into the embrace of silent and could never come back to the time where I was restless and hyper.

The nostalgia is still chilling me whenever I hear my friends laugh. I miss the times where I could still relate to them and could even go on a day just giggling. Its as if I don't know them at all. They are close yet my hands are reaching to a distant somebody that whenever I try to reach, they all keep moving away. I turn myself into a silent, and it is a must. Since I realized they hate me being a loud mouth person. They hate me for being me. That is why I slowly removed myself to the social interactions that is around me. As much as possible,I avoid gaining new friends.

Another reason for this unending silence that I keep myself as a promise is the betrayal of a once good friend. I anticipated the time that my friends would just go out without me. I may be over acting for thinking such pathetic little misery, but I can't deny how I feel. I ask them why? I was only given a stare of blank face. A face who is against my morals which I can no longer comprehend. I moved away and muted my heart. I became silent.

The tragedy did not occurred once. It has been done not once, but a number which I can no longer count with either both my fingers and my toes. I don't know if it was my fault or was it theirs.  The only thing that keeps me going right now is the instinct to live.

Silent, they asked me why I am silent. Silent as if I did not exist. I made a big wall against them. I did not lost only one, I lost everything. Its my fault. I just need to grow up that is why I kept myself into silent.